I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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