SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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