Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
