i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
