I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
