shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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