I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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