Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
