Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.

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(315): View more from New York

Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.

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(831): View more from California

So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...

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(253): View more from Washington

So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like

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(817): View more from Texas

And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet

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