nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
