just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
