Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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