it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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