I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
