happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
