Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
