If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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