Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
