she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
