Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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