just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
