His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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