Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
