you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
