Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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