So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
