So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
