...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
