hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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