Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
