bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize