That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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