She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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