Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
