I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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