Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize