we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
