We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i need some magic done to my vagina
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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