Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
