drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
