1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
