im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
