you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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