I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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