also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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