she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Found your dick twin last night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
