You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
