the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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