Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
