i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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