The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
