Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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