i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
