What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize