Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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