I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
