someone get that fucking seahorse.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
