and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just google imaged poop.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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