Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
