I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
