they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
