Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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