Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize