And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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