I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
