If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
