I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
