On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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