when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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